Like the other day, a friend told me my brother hadn't slept for a few days. My mind immediately thinks, oh my goodness, he must be having a manic episode. Totally normal train of thought. My concerns were immediately invalidated when I was informed a new expansion to World of Warcraft was recently released.
The next thing I thought was, he hasn't been awake for three days straight. That is unnatural. He has had to have taken some cat naps. Inmates, I intern at the Dane County Jail, are always complaining they haven't slept for days. It just isn't true. Your body needs sleep. You have not been awake for three days. You just haven't been. Trust me. Jail may not be fun, but you've slept. I digress.
Well, there you have it. These are the thoughts I have all day ever day. Plus a lot of worries about everything. I might catastrophize every situation. I might be a little neurotic, thanks Dad. I diagnosis myself with a different mental health disorder weekly. I have too many thoughts and not enough time to think them all through. I'm rambling. I apologize.
I'm going to school to be a licensed clinical social worker and sometimes I think I might be the one who needs to see a therapist. I blame it on school. I can't keep my thoughts straight. There is so much to do all day every day. There is an end in sight at least. 166 more days to be precise.
If you can't tell from my above ramblings, I haven't had a lot of time to stop and enjoy myself. Sure there have been pleasant moments here and there, but its immediately on to the next thing, which I worried about at least 20 times while I was supposed to be enjoying myself.
I look forward to the day where I can step back, process and appreciate my day to day life. I'm not sure when that will be. Sometimes I don't think it will ever happen. Growing up scares me. Is this the way my life will always be? Is it just a consequence of graduate school? Probably.
It is a balance, I suppose. I haven't figured out that balance yet. It scares me. There are too many things I want to enjoy and accomplish in life.
I've rambled, but this is what my life has been lately. A little glimpse into my head. It's a bit crazy in there, but I'm thankful to have a lot of supportive people and a very special cat in my life. They put up with me and make me smile. I'd be a lost puppy without them. Although being a cute, fun-loving, care-free puppy sounds pretty nice right now.
I've been working on some recipes for you all though. It is just a matter of finding the time to share them will you all! The other weekend I made some killer drinking chocolate and pickled beets, while my mom and man-friend split wood for the million fires I will be having this winter.
Speaking of puppies, Thanksgiving and my sister-in-law, there will be two dogs at my Thanksgiving. I'm so excited. My brother and sister-in-law's pit bull and our family friends border collie will be there. They are going to have the best time.
I'm going to have the best time watching my mom cook, drinking wine and playing with the pups. I hope your holiday is as magical as mine should be. Happy Thanksgiving, a little early everyone!
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